Stepmother’s Bill of Rights

19th Apr 2008

1. I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.
2. People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.
3. I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.
4. I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.
5. I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.
6. I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.
7. Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.
8. I will never be treated as an “outsider” in my own home.
9. My husband and stepchildren must treat me with respect.
10. Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.

I’ve seen this posted time and time again. I remember the first time I read it. I agree whole-heartedly. Somehow, instinctively, I expected these rules to apply to my situation even before I read them. They work. Without a doubt. I will accept nothing less.

Much debate has been had over the idea of the 2nd (or subsequent) marriage not being first priority. I’ve heard some even say the tired old phrase “his kids were here first!” Here WHERE? On earth? Please. And then I go on to point out that experts say, marriage first. This doesn’t always happen in “first” marriages either, but you can bet that if the marriage (and therefore the family unit) isn’t the priority, well it won’t be around long….check out our nearly 50% divorce rate for evidence of this fact.

Heck, even first wives could benefit from following this bill of rights.

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